Backlash of the sexes reloaded

This buzz is a response to the challenging one of Lisa Vandenburg
Dear Lisa, in my opinion, the actual scenario about what the roles of each sex should be, and which should be the relationship and interaction between them, is nowadays absolutely unclear.
The humankind reached an important turning point about 300 years ago, when the expectation of life started to change from 30-40 years of age, until today, on which 80-90 years is in most cases what is expected.
Along millennia males had the only purpose to become a good hunter/collector, to bring food to the cave, defend the survival of his cave or tribe, and procreate as much as possible, considering the high percentage of child mortality, to ensure the survival of the species.
The criteria for choosing a female was then, that she had to be fertile and a good companion on the collateral works, that is, knowing how to preserve the hunted or collected food, how to convert furs into clothing, and how to keep their family healthy and well fed.
Females criteria on choosing a male was easy, if they had the chance to: had to be strong to defend their cave, good food provider, and fertile.
Considering that the time they spent together, in the best case, was not more than 15 years, and during these years, he would be mostly out of the cave, there was no need of him to be kind, or there was no need of her to claiming her rights, because the relationship was based on mutual cooperation on survival, and there was no time for much more out of that.
This mind programming, which has been our reality along millennia, has changed and will never come back. For the same reason, we are still trying to find out what our new roles should be. David Navarro
Along with the big change in regards to expectation of life, there are other major changes which we should be aware of.
The way of “bringing food to the cave”, “defending our tribe” or “ensuring the survival of the species” has changed too, and the figure of a rude Neanderthal, or a cooperative/submissive female, is no longer needed:
It can be achieved by both sexes.
So here is the challenge
How can we, as humankind, go back to a status on both sexes can cooperate in order to survive?

Because the actual status, that is, a permanent fight between males and females, is bringing us destroyed families, depression, violence, loneliness, and a worrying trend of decreasing rates on new births on developed countries, along with an astonishing lack of interest about others, aka selfishness and lack of empathy.
This cocktail is driving us to our self-destruction because, in the meantime, we fail to see what the real threats are.
The selfish culture which we are transmitting to our descendants is only “valid” if you are somehow, “leading the tribe”. If you are just part of the tribe, you are expendable. And as a consequence, you have MGTOW, feminists, you name it.
This is the way our actual tribe leaders, financial groups and governments, are dealing with us. And those are the ones who are not making much effort on clearing the sexes fight, as they are much more concerned about achieving more richness and power for themselves.
Lisa, you might be afraid the world war 3. Because this war has already started. But we didn’t notice it yet. We are too concerned about things we should have cleared already, like the mentioned sexes fight.
Hopefully, we will be able to clear it one day, before is too late. But in my opinion, it will take still much more time and a big effort on opening our mind to the fact that “me” or “you” is not leading the humankind anywhere.
It is “us” which has made us survive until now, and it is “us” who can fix this. Any extremism goes against “us”. This is the threat and the challenge.
David Navarro
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Kommentare
Lisa Vanderburg
vor 6 Jahren #44
#48 There is much we agree on my friend David Navarro L\u00f3pez; enough for the basis of dialogue. The is a good thing! I do disagree that IMHO men accused of rape by a woman are subjected to more than a verbal 'she said, he said' thing. In our countries, the onus on the woman to report a rape quickly is certainly encouraged for forensic analysis. Most women who have been raped (I suspect) don't do this out of shame. And yes, there are some nasty women who just want to flatten some guy with false accusation. All of that to me is a given, so I'm going to push that bit aside for now. I'm also assuming the women in government you refer to are the extremes that wish to entrench ultra-feminist policies? I could have misread you on this, because I don't think you mean all women should not be allowed in government? But hate is prevalent in all extreme groups & cults; ISIS, White Supremacists etc. Those are comprised mainly of men. Women generally don't 'succeed' in such extreme groups. Have to go to bed - le tired! Your command of English is WAY better than mine. Tomorrow I hope to address what it is I love about men...and women! Let's meet on the middle ground and see what we both can try to solve. :)
David Navarro López
vor 6 Jahren #43
48 I see we agree, dear Lisa. Governments don't know what they really should do, as a fair female point of view is not present. Because it doesn't exist (sorry, will try to explain this): The female groups which have the needful success to have a voice in a parliament, are coming from extremist raged feminists. So the male's scenario act according to it, to the hate. There is no balanced point of view from females present. Why? For the same reason. Because they don't see they are needed, and if so, they don't give a damn about it. They don't want to be mixed with ultra feminists, as they don't agree with them either. The bigger problem is, that the balanced-non-extremist opinion of the average females is what this world really needs. The motivation puts together groups. Hate is very powerful, able to put together feminists groups. Why the common sense of the majority of females is so weak on motivation, hindering them to make a strong social movement? We, males, need it. Don't you see it?
Lisa Vanderburg
vor 6 Jahren #42
I hear you David Navarro L\u00f3pez - this is happening all to often, and there's no doubt that a few women are taking advantage of it. However, it must be said, it's not women who made this change in policy, it's government. Why? Because they don't know quite what to do. I'm sure you've heard 'Affirmative Action'. It's not uniquely American but is most known for its consequences towards black Americans. Some liberalist dingbat think-tank in government decided to 'try and do the right thing' to make up for slavery, which basically ended up demoralizing the very people they were trying to help. Stupid is as stupid does. I think this sort of thinking tries, but fails in the worst way - same now!
David Navarro López
vor 6 Jahren #41
#28 In my country, Spain, there has been many changes in laws, oriented on protecting females from male's abuses. It had to be done, and I am happy for it. Now the problem is when a female abuse of these laws. If a woman goes to police saying she has been verbally abused, the man, without any proof, is immediately jailed and registered as a gender violent person. This registering never gets cleaned, even if in a trial it is proven that she was lying. Furthermore, she gets no harm even lying to a judge in this cases. If it is the case that she gets any harm after that, the first person who goes to preventive jail is the falsely pointed man, even if it was proven he was not guilty, because he is on "the list". Now let's put a man who goes to police, and claims, with witnesses, verbal or physical abuse by a women. You know what happens? Nothing. Unfortunately, I know from first hand what I am saying. Now you tell me if this is dealing equally with both genders. C'mon. This is where the war between genders is leading us. To another justice system which has no regulation or balance, simply because BOTH parts should make it happen, not one in the power and the other claiming and crying in the corner, with no other arguments that their own pain. Let's females take real protagonism. Let's hear their proposals. Not based in hate. Based in our society's actual reality, and fairness. Maybe is not that difficult.
Lisa Vanderburg
vor 6 Jahren #40
I'm in agreement with you David Navarro L\u00f3pez, those in power - regardless of gender - do not relinquish their position, so you're right: Comparing scars just wastes time, effort and distracts from the meaning of the buzz.
David Navarro López
vor 6 Jahren #39
part 2: Female have a real tough war to fight. The worst part of it is that they have "traitors" on their own lines. More women than you can imagine are willingly surrounded to the male's domination, maybe because they are used to, maybe because they don't believe on themselves, or because it takes too much effort, and they have already a good living (or they think so). We can't forget that if we want to consider both genders equally, you get idiots in both genders too. But the damage that just an idiot female makes to the "female Cause" is always much bigger than the one a male can do. Because he is already on the leading position. And the one who wants to beat the leader needs to be much better, and if lucky, will have a chance. Another thing I have observed in my many years on business, and that is key when fighting. You need to be loyal to your people. Always. Women who are struggling to succeed, they fight against males AND females too. This is something males don't do, and is the key of their success. If a male fails, they cover one to another, use the complicity and are able to find a middle path, to negotiate. After over 30 years in my field, I have never seen that in a female group. If a female fails, the other females tear their eyes off. In business, two males can quarrel like hell, and next day, they might find an excuse to get drunk together, and end of the story. Females never forget, and if they don't have an extreme need to, never forgive. Follows part 3
Lisa Vanderburg
vor 6 Jahren #38
No finer comment than this Harvey Lloyd - measured twice, cut one, you hit that nail square on its head!! Maybe that should be the 3rd post: the joy of our differences & how they compliment us
David Navarro López
vor 6 Jahren #37
I can only say wow, wow and wow!. I can feel you are full of rage, and with it, I am not saying you are wrong with it. Female have all the right in the world to be mad about what happened and still happening. What I am just saying, is that having the pain of the past ONLY (and unfortunately, still our present) as an argument to make things change, in my humble opinion, is leading nowhere. Quite everyone could show their scars. I have mine. You have yours. I am sure you would pale if I showed mine. This is precisely why I wrote about this issue. But this is not a contest of scars. No one of them, in my experience, leads to a future solution. I would like to let you know too, that I come from Spain, which is traditionally an extremely male chauvinist country. So I know What I am talking about, and, again, I agree females do not deserve what they got. To your words "why would anyone want to give up power & control for equality of gender?" I am pointing out already in the post, that equality of gender is not the point: They will not easily give up power. Period. But they have it, and in order to make things change, we need to get them out of there. And this is what the post is all about. While we are (stupidly, must I say) fighting one against the other on things that basically, we are in agreement, the elite on power keep us busy and do their own thing. (It follows part 2)
Harvey Lloyd
vor 6 Jahren #36
There is always learning, even in that which is painful at the time. It is us who choose to make the learning happen or the bitterness to carry. My teachers were the same, i had major control issues in school. Clearly i am still working on them. But none the less the teachers i had, did teach me a lot, it wasn't until many years later i figured it out.
Louise Smith
vor 6 Jahren #35
Thanks. It's funny I thought it was an American term I was unfamiliar with ! In Y3 when I was 7yo, I spelt beginning wrong as begining My teacher Miss Fox with 1960's teased to death blonde hair, maximum make up, clingy knit tops and mini skirts, made me come out the front and went mad at me. I'll leave you to imagine how many decades ago that was. But I still remember her bullying & belittling behaviour. I became & still am very good at spelling ! (Despite her to to spite her ? I don't know) I have a very good memory which helps. When I became a teacher, I never did this to one single one of the 1000's of students I taught. So inadvertently she taught me more than spelling !
Harvey Lloyd
vor 6 Jahren #34
Sorry was rushing and didn't pay attention to the spell check of vagueness. Now i am having flashbacks to the spelling bee in elementary school:)
Louise Smith
vor 6 Jahren #33
Vangsness ? = Kirsten Simone Vangsness is an American actress and writer. She currently stars as FBI Technical Analyst Penelope Garcia on the CBS drama series Criminal Minds. She portrayed the same character on the spin-off series Criminal Minds: Suspect Behavior ???
Harvey Lloyd
vor 6 Jahren #32
Lisa Vanderburg
vor 6 Jahren #31
I agree my friend David Navarro L\u00f3pez; both sexes must work the problem if we want to survive or we want our children to survive. I know you wrote this buzz because of your great humanitarian concern. We all bear the scars of love's warfare, but we live in hope; you do, I do. This very article helps us make that first step: acknowledge the danger!
Lisa Vanderburg
vor 6 Jahren #30
Welcome Brian McKenzie's buzz here. I took exception to the barren sadness of MGTOW, but more so to that you chose to intro it (to me anyhoo) on a rape buzz by Joyce \ud83d\udc1d Bowen Brand Ambassador @ beBee. Yes, males get raped too. If you were to read all my comments here, you'd see how empathetic I am towards males...in fact, that's ALL I've been talking about! We will get to the females...I will. I feel so sorry for you that you have emotionally castrated yourself over a few bad eggs. We all suffer those!
Lisa Vanderburg
vor 6 Jahren #29
hahaha....... Just FYI y'all, when I posted my buzz about this, Louise Smith DMed me. Here's what she's given me permission to share: ''Yes I remember my first reaction to the topic was the same But as a psychologist I came to terms with it as I have & do counsel men like this Some of them have lost everything inclu visiting rights of their kids and still have to pay child support all because the law is an ass and believes the female ex's lies. I often write letters of support and progress reports for them for court Sometime it helps them a lot dep on the judge' 'Battered men in the emotional sense generally respond impulsively with negative language and aggression The fight of Flight or Fight. It takes a while for them to realise they have to put that aside and get smart and deal with their problems differently.' under your name!''
Louise Smith
vor 6 Jahren #28
I disagree David Navarro L\u00f3pez. " I don't believe it is a huge task to convince the others." Why would anyone want to give up power & control for equality of gender? Just look at the no of women in the LNP presently "in charge" in the Australian Federal Government. They talk the talk but don't walk the walk.
Louise Smith
vor 6 Jahren #27
Geoff Hudson-Searle Shame men don't use the extra space better. (sorry I just had to write this !)
Louise Smith
vor 6 Jahren #26
This criticism will happen with any extremist, fundamental thinking.
Louise Smith
vor 6 Jahren #25
Louise Smith
vor 6 Jahren #24
Louise Smith
vor 6 Jahren #23
Louise Smith
vor 6 Jahren #22
Probably because no one else cares or is affected by these issues !
David Navarro López
vor 6 Jahren #21
Dear Lisa, I don't believe it is a huge task to convince the others. In fact, I believe most of us are already convinced. The question is that the minority who needs still to be convinced nowadays, are the ones who rule the world. And this is not a task on women should be on their own. Males have to take their part too. But is difficult to take side with women as a male, when the first thing you get from a female is misbelieving, rage or rejection just for your kind of genitalia. If I admire one model of society, is the one of Iceland. They are ruled by women. It was the country which first felt the crisis, but the first which got out of it. Why? A "feminine model" rules the country. Out of 4 Iceland's banks, 3 of them sank, and one survived. Oh, surprise, the one which was ruled by women. In addition, Iceland is the only country which has imprisoned the economical responsibles of the crisis. Coincidence?
David Navarro López
vor 6 Jahren #20
Thank you for making such an extense comment, bringing to the discussion scientific data. From my point of view, I am happy there are differences between the two genders. Curiously enough, a larger brain is not always the main issue, but how you use it. See what happened to Neanderthals. They were living on the same era than Sapiens and had larger brains. But Sapiens ruled and survived instead. Why? Because of their capability to work together, with the aim of something bigger than them, which was, despite any logic, "unreal" concepts, like religion, race or nation. Marriage is as well a concept, nothing you can touch, but it can bond two different humans with an indestructible bond, which can last despite the death of one of them. A great mistake we are doing into these modern days, in my opinion, is to enter into a discussion of which of both genders is superior, or if in your words, "should men look to be a woman, should women want to become males". They will be always different, and I believe these differences can bring one another different approaches which can be profitable for both genders. What has changed is our way of living, and with it, we need to review how do we interact one gender with another.
Geoff Hudson-Searle
vor 6 Jahren #19
Geoff Hudson-Searle
vor 6 Jahren #18
Lisa Vanderburg
vor 6 Jahren #17
Lisa Vanderburg
vor 6 Jahren #16
You got it sweet sister Franci\ud83d\udc1dEugenia Hoffman, beBee Brand Ambassador ?
Franci 🐝Eugenia Hoffman
vor 6 Jahren #15
Lisa Vanderburg
vor 6 Jahren #14
David Navarro López
vor 6 Jahren #13
In the line of having more years in our life like never before, you might find interesting this other buzz I wrote some time ago https://www.bebee.com/producer/@david-navarro-lopez/get-started-adding-life-to-years Hope you enjoy it reading it as much I enjoyed writing it
Lisa Vanderburg
vor 6 Jahren #12
Lisa Vanderburg
vor 6 Jahren #11
Louise Smith :) She's a Psychologist who treats both sexes and understands (like me) how hard it is for males these days - particularly in the USA. I've said it before, but just in case: I used to be a Chef/Restaurateur and worked with hundreds of unskilled men in my kitchens. I taught them to prep, about food, rotation...all that stuff. It's high-pressure and heavy work, so mainly males applied. Our last one was in Florida during the '3-strike' rule, which was just appalling. Almost all these guys came from poverty, strife, and little to no support or safety net. The would have been born into a doomed life in many ways. Most had a wife or ex, kids. As employers we were legally bound to deduct child-support from their pay. END Part 1
Lisa Vanderburg
vor 6 Jahren #10
You're right Martin. If you go to the top of David Navarro L\u00f3pez buzz here, and click on my name, it'll take you to what started this. I checked - you didn't comment on that one so maybe it'll help? Thanks!
Lisa Vanderburg
vor 6 Jahren #9
Martin Wright
vor 6 Jahren #8
I thought the opening was so intriguing - take it as a compliment that I was looking forward to reading more.
David Navarro López
vor 6 Jahren #7
Thank you for stopping by. And I am sorry for not having all the answers. I thought it was good enough to put the questions. It is a painful matter for me, but as a male it is difficult as well to point some things out without pouring salt on wounds. Hopefully more opinions with open minds will lead us sometime to a solution.
David Navarro López
vor 6 Jahren #6
to your words " I hope you have understood your Post well" and "Which gender has not moved forward?", I would answer: Yup! and, did you notice the two pictures I have added? Assuming that all males are brutes, is as bad and as extremist as being a MGTOW. Considering that males are still running the world, I believe that instead of putting all of them in the same bunch, finding a way out with the ones who are as well looking for a solution to the problem would be the wise thing to do. You would be surprised at how many males think like me. If males need to leave behind the behaviour of the past, females need to stop using the past as a victimhood weapon and searching a revenge for the past unfairness suffered, in order to be taken seriously. Women have already proven their superiority on many areas, if not all of them. So what? To just aiming to be recognized as equal or superior will not fix the problem we have ahead. Because then we go from a selfish position to another. But as I am pointing out, the fight we need to fix is not the sexes fight anymore, but the power fight. I am pretty sure that if you would make a public research, asking if males and females should have the same rights, same salary, you name it, the answer would be the one you are expecting. It is not the mentality of the people of the street which needs to be changed, this is done already. It is the one of the power elites, the ones who we are voting and paying our taxes to.
Martin Wright
vor 6 Jahren #5
Louise Smith
vor 6 Jahren #4
Louise Smith
vor 6 Jahren #3
Ali Anani
vor 6 Jahren #2
David Navarro López
vor 6 Jahren #1