David Navarro López

vor 4 Jahren · 2 min. Lesezeit · visibility 0 ·

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Bullying at Social Networks: How to react?

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Lucia TaoIt is a fact: Bullies exist. No matter if they are in your social network, on your real life, at work, you name it.

It can be very difficult to get rid of them and their effects in other circumstances, but in social networks, I would say is quite easy.

As in “real life”, with the time, no one can hide what one really is. If someone is kind, honest, a charlatan or a bully, nobody can be acting all the way long without exposing his/her own attitude.

If someone acts like a bully, speaks like a bully, looks like a bully, and is keen to promote bullying, most probably IS a bully, or a potential one.

They use to look for one’s weaknesses, trying to hit you in any possible way, until they find a spot to hit, and find pleasure squeezing it. The motivation residing on it is not a thing of my interest, because it would mean I would like to help them, and I don’t.

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To this point, I would like to mention a Spanish saying and a tradition.

The saying. "There is no greater contempt than not taking notice." 

 To have people taking attention to bullying is the first thing a bully looks for. To hell with it.

The best thing it can be done is not to respond. If someone doesn’t know you enough to understand what is going on, well, my answer is the same: to hell with it.

26d5e047.jpgNo one can make you to have 4 able life. Itis you who chooses tod6bf6e9d.jpgc2d9d053.jpg

Now the Spanish tradition. We have a long tradition on dealing with bulls. Real ones. It is not that I like them, but the only one I would accept, is one on which the bull never get hurt, and is called “recortes” Have a look at a sample of it.


The “recortador” makes just the needed movements to cheat the bull, make a fool of it, and to get away of it. And the bull gets lost, as it has tried to hit the man, with all its power, just finding air instead caused by very light and elegant moves of the “recortador”

This is the attitude it should be shown to bullies, in my opinion.

I was compelled to write this buzz due to the lines I have read at the Deb Helfrich buzz

https://www.bebee.com/producer/@deb-helfrich/socks-open-mindedness-and-intolerance-masked

I must confess I did not use my time trying to find out all the truth of it, ‘cause I don’t need it.

I know Deb is a wonderful person, and no bully is going to make me change my opinion, no matter what he/she does.

So I am not going to lose my time “defending” her. If someone here doesn’t know already who Deb really is, well, my answer is always the same: to hell with it.

Dear Deb, please, don't take notice of bullies. You are wasting your precious time and energies to something it doesn't worth the trouble. Keep producing the enriching honey you have us used to get.


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Robert Cormack

Robert Cormack

vor 4 Jahren #20

Just goes to show, anything can happen on the way to Sturgis.#30

Harvey Lloyd

Harvey Lloyd

vor 4 Jahren #19

#29
This was a good comment. Being an old biker i can say that i have had many encounters across the country. Most were like your comment. But some were the stereotypical assumption that we were bullies. We met folks who invited us into their homes, farms and communities. We once decided to take the northern route back to the east coast through Montana and caught a small town parade. This route was off the beaten path from Sturgis, SD. What an experience. We were invited to all the festivities. Sometimes bulling could be a fear reflex of perspective. We paint the picture of someone else because of our viewpoints.

Robert Cormack

Robert Cormack

vor 4 Jahren #18

Bullying takes a lot of negative energy. Those who like to bully never advance, nothing gets better. I remember one of my bosses telling me about a family picnic. He came from a big family. They were all out in the park, playing games, having a barbecue. Not far away, ten bikers were sitting on some picnic tables. They looked ominous the way bikers try to look. Anyway, my boss decided to go over and invite them to a tug-of-war. They accepted. There they were, ten bikers, all brawn and muscles, on one side, and my boss's family on the other, including his old blue-haired aunts. Well, the family won, and the bikers were invited to join in the barbecue. They had a good time, and were actually very appreciative. Bullies can change.

Harvey Lloyd

Harvey Lloyd

vor 4 Jahren #17

I have found this series of discussions surrounding one post, enterprising, in that it grew from a most fundamental element of the human existence. Yet the discussions have centered on bulling and i cant deny that these elements do exist but from my view is not the issue. Using language such as negative, bully, and other terms to describe the macro of the topic eludes the basic understanding when we look at the individuals involved. The spiritual aspects of our existence, those times where we find ourselves within inner turmoil. When it all seems upside down, we all reach for something. The discussion of bulling surrounds two different views of what we reach for in these times. But the discussion also shows where we have come to when questions of faith are brought to the public. We all experience the fullness of or the lack of this in private, less we get labeled in public. When two different beliefs of faith interact we have one of two options. Attack or share the experience from two different perspectives. My faith is not in any need of defending nor could I. I may not agree with others but i do not require or wish to provoke the defense of others.

David Navarro López

David Navarro López

vor 4 Jahren #16

As english is not my mother language, i make concept mistakes sometimes. Maybe the word ignoring, and ignorance can be a little confusing for me. Again, bullies are there. The bullfighter observes and anticipates its movements. The elegance of it consists in NOT forgetting they are there, but making the less effort possible to avoid them, same time as making them look ridiculous. In the other hand, this kind of bullfighting does not any harm to the animal. A good bullfigther does not need to harm the animal to show his superiority, which to me is the best to do it. Without any violence. In the end, a bully is a seriously handicapped person, who should get psicollogical help, and in some cases, life emprisonement in a mental institution.

Lisa Gallagher

Lisa Gallagher

vor 4 Jahren #15

. I loved the bull fighter video and the music too! Most of the time it gets easier to ignore bullies. But, there are times we must speak out against the abuse they deliver. Some bullies on SM are transparent, others not so much. They may write an article that is not just dissing the person but the premise of their article too. Those who aren't aware of what may have transpired don't see these people as bullies- they play the 'innocent victim' card. I too, have been bullied many times on SM and that includes Twitter (in the past), LI, Facebook and some minor bullying on beBee. The difference- beBee does not tolerate it and will intervene. That is unheard of on other networks. Connections on beBee like yourself David and others are kind enough to call it out. We need more of this. Bullies don't win in the end if they are exposed and put on the back burner. I made a choice to try my best to stay away from bullies but it can't always be avoided.

David Navarro López

David Navarro López

vor 4 Jahren #14

A thoght is now teasing my mind. One can be bullied due to things one can hardly change (being tall, small, fat, blonde) and due things it depends on one' s personal choices (beliefs, politics, way of thinking) The question is which would be more painful? Which would be more difficult to defend? I am still ruminating further thoughts and questions about the issue.

David Navarro López

David Navarro López

vor 4 Jahren #13

#21
No doubt this is the first thought many people would share. But then, what is the difference between them and us? That they are wrong and we are right? under the criteria of whom? I respect your opinion but is not for me. To act as a bully as a reaction to a bully makes me worse. Above all, bullies are not that clever. Otherwise, they wouldn't be one.

David Navarro López

David Navarro López

vor 4 Jahren #12

#16
The point number 4 of the Ambassadors Program is :Interact with other Bees in a constructive manner... If an Ambassador is acting like a bully, should be removed by Javier beBee or their team.

David Navarro López

David Navarro López

vor 4 Jahren #11

#13
To your words I can answer this. When I was in my childhood, in my country it was a felony not to be catholic. Many people went to jail. But my parents were very religious, although not catholic. Luckily for me, The dictator died when I was 9, and religious freedom was given. Nevertheless, I was bullied, prosecuted, and physically assaulted many times at school. The teachers were the ones that most fiercely bullied me, since they considered my attitude as a contaminant. When I was 18, I was supposed to do the military service. My convictions told me not to do so. This drove me to a military jail almost a year. During this time, almost daily I got the visit of the captain, who used any "technique" to break me. (not getting any food for days, not having the right to wash myself, and useless to say, brutality in words and acts) During the high school, my "sexual preferences" were questioned, as I hated soccer, and chosen to be in the library instead. My school mates were bad. Professors were worse. So, if someone tells a lie about me, it simply makes me smile. If other people believes this lie, then they don't know me and judge me without knowing the truth, so I would say, thank you bully, because with your act I could really see who is and who is not worthy of my company. The sea is full of fishes. Sorry if I don't pay attention to the rotten ones

David Navarro López

David Navarro López

vor 4 Jahren #10

#12
Probably I should have read more deeply about the issue. But as I have already said, I don't need it, as I am sure if someone like you had to respond, it had enough ground to do it. My point is, as you highlighted, not allowing them to put us down internally, not to play their game. An image comes to my mind automatically when I see a bully acting: the view of a half developed, handicapped human being, like a fetus born without the needful basic organs to have a quality life. While they think they are superior to me, I know I am superior to them, and then I act subsequently. In my response to Robert Bacal you will understand how I learned to survive them.

Franci 🐝Eugenia Hoffman, beBee Brand Ambassador

Since I have missed some posts while I was in Blue Ridge, it seems I am on the tail end of some inner turmoil. I read both of Deb's posts and found nothing offensive, but Deb, I find you can't please all the people all the time. I've been bullied (not on beBee), and after the fact, I can think of many ways I could have handled the situation. Shoulda, woulda, coulda, you know? I prefer to move on and brush it off or write a seething response and never send it. I was bullied on Google and responded "get a life" and I moved on. If someone doesn't like another's post, then they don't need to read it and can move on. I still find posts relating to politics and I'm tired of the subject, so I move on to a post where I can enjoy a well-written, entertaining piece. Bullying is child's play, IMO

David Navarro López

David Navarro López

vor 4 Jahren #8

#9
To your words "...that drive new users away" I would say the following: Everyone here is adult. If someone goes because he/she can not put aside some idiots, and instead, to listen to other millions of positive users, well, let them go. Furthermore, I believe Bebee left crystal clear what is expected from the behaviour of an Ambassador. If under your opinion you are acting like one, and Bebee considers you are doing it, I do not see the problem. Of course, we can not allow disrespectful behaviour. The thing is, how to react? And in this is why I wrote this buzz. The final point is that you are not going to change a bully, no matter what you do. So we have to be aware not to become like them. If due to your bigger intellectual power, you beat them, isn't that a form of bullying? How would you stop a fight? Beating harder? Believe me, due to different reasons I am not exposing here now, I have suffered bullying along all my life. And still do. To fight back is never an answer, and makes you feel worse. To hell with them. We have other more important things to care about

David Navarro López

David Navarro López

vor 4 Jahren #7

#8
Above all, it is not a whim or a coincidence that in my profile it can be seen Don Quixote. Most of the time I feel like him. Nevertheless, in an open site like this, as in real life, this kind of people might appear. We all know it. Javier beBee knows it too. We, as ambassadors, can point out bad practices. and everyone has the possibility to claim to Bebee. But in the end, it is the decision of Bebee to allow them going on. In the mean time, the more we talk about them, the more relevance we give them. Instead, I bet for producing much more honey than "vinegar"

David Navarro López

David Navarro López

vor 4 Jahren #6

#5
Maybe you would like to add this other buzz i did some time ago to your hive https://www.bebee.com/producer/@david-navarro-lopez/bullying-at-work-the-day-after I would do it, but I already did in 3 hives

David Navarro López

David Navarro López

vor 4 Jahren #5

#5
Thank you Robert for sharing. What a surprise about the existence of such a hive.

David Navarro López

David Navarro López

vor 4 Jahren #4

#3
I am not a specialist about the issue, but I have suffered bullying many times in real life, at school when I was about 9 years old is the first memory I have of it. The response it worked the best ever since was to ignore them. I always keep in mind the saying that "if you go down to the level of idiots, they will beat you because they have more experience". My parents were very religious, and they instructed me about the lesson of Jesus "showing the other cheek". Most of people understand wrongly what he meant. The lesson of it was, try not to get hurt in the same place twice.

Pascal Derrien

Pascal Derrien

vor 4 Jahren #3

#2
online I kind of agree in real life I beg to differ :-)

David Navarro López

David Navarro López

vor 4 Jahren #2

#1
Sometimes we fall on the trap of trying to respond them. But aqs it is precisely what they are looking for, better ignoring them. In this case, a "inaction" is the best action.

Pascal Derrien

Pascal Derrien

vor 4 Jahren #1

relevant isn't it ? :-)

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