#Gedicht: The Weight of Holding On

If you say you don’t need anyone,
it makes me want to stay.
And if you claim that you need no one,
I long to find a way.

If I say friends are like family,
you scoff and turn away.
Call me a fool for loyalty,
as if kindness leads astray.

We say this bond is meant to last,
though fate would disagree.
Me—an optimist stuck in the past,
you—a skeptic lost at sea.

I try to reach, to bridge the space,
as much as strangers do.
You offer crumbs, a fleeting trace,
but only when it suits you.

On New Year’s Eve, you say you care,
but other things come first.
Your thesis, friends, all need you there,
while I must quench my thirst.

Their pain was greater, so you said,
as if mine could not be real.
As if my words, the tears I shed,
were wounds that shouldn’t heal.

And when I swore I don’t let go,
as long as I am held,
I never meant to break the woe
until my heart rebelled.

I always meant to hold on tight,
until I broke in two.
I never meant to lose the fight
just trying to reach you.

You said you show instead of tell,
but silence spoke instead.
Three months had passed, and still, I fell
into the words unsaid.

Did you like me when you chose
to watch me from afar?
Or was the truth what silence shows—
that friendship was never ours?

Now all that lingers is the cost,
the weight of wasted air.
All we did was watch hope lost,
while you just stood and stared.